Not much is known about the Offley Stone. Its origins have remained a mystery for centuries… until now. Like the ravens in the Tower of London it is firmly believed that if the stone should be removed from the building then Offley would fall or worse, get pickled.
In Spring 2022, researchers from the University of Oxford made a startling and important discovery. The stone is in fact made of bricks, mortar and offelyte – a rare astronomical material from a galaxy far far away. Dating back millennia it is known for its time travel properties.
Professor Lawson, an expert in paranormal astro-phenomena, remarked: “The presence of Offelyte means one thing and one thing only. This is clearly a dormant ancient alien planet ready to hatch. It’s been manipulating the progress of human history since the dawn of time. The Ancient Greeks hypothesised that an alien planet would hatch on the eve of the announcement of the 58th Prime Minister of the United Kingdom and cause chaos across the globe. This could be that very planet and it could hatch next week.”
We are glad to be custodians of the Offley Stone.